Developing a character

There is a very common phrase that one keeps hearing now and then. Many of us will simply not be able to avoid this. “Oh, he is a character, or she is a character!”. I have only used this phrase for a very few people that I have come across in my life, and one of those very few people happened to be this woman named ‘Lu’. I will try to recount here in the series form, some of the interactions that I have had with this lady now and then, that motivated me to write something about her that made me say time and again, “Oh she is a character for sure!”

Lu is an American middle-aged lady I met at my work. The first time I heard the name, it sounded like somebody has been given a name of restroom. Imagine how humiliating it could be to have a name ‘restroom’ for oneself! Suddenly I recall all those Vietnamese or Chinese people who flaunt around with their monosyllabic names on their identity cards. Maybe she is of some Chinese descent if not Vietnamese. Then I saw her in person, the big shocker was, she looks like a petite Mexican teenager. Her face, black hair everything was boasting of her Mexican or Spanish flair but her dress up then was complete American. It was very confusing to even guess where she is from just going by her looks and that name of hers. All in all, she looks quite exotic, deceivingly Latino but with unmissable, that American accent.

Exchanging pleasantries, it was not hard to know right away that she is a very friendly soul and very different than the kind of American women I have met in the past. She seems fascinated by people from the other countries than America itself, though she was raised here in a complete American environment. She kept on telling me she wants to go to Nepal, India, Bhutan and what not. She sure knew how to break ice with some complete strangers. Everyone was fascinated by her aura, and they still are to this day. Just to make it clear right here in the beginning, Lu is a married, middle-aged lady with two kids of her own and a husband who is working for some big car company. So, this write up series are not going to be anything about luscious and titillating encounters that I am having with some hot bimbo at work. I will leave that department to 'Senor Underwear' as he knows his art better to bend the truth and brag about the number of women he has been 'supposedly' scoring for so long while in USA. Kudos to him and his luck!

After a few days of back-and-forth conversation, finally I got to find out the real reason behind all these confusions her personality was generating among people. She was in fact Mexican by birth, but she got adopted as a kid by some quite rich Chinese family in US. That's why the name 'Lu'. She did her schooling everything from here. So now here she is, a typical Latino looking woman but with an Asian name and American by citizenship. She did talk about the attention she gets specially from Spanish men on street, everywhere and many of them start talking to her in Spanish thinking she would reply, but sadly she does not speak a word in Spanish. Anyway, in one of those short talks, she showed the picture of her husband and her teenager sons. Her better half did look a little bit aged than her, but I would not ask her now how she got married and all. Some questions I am still not sure how to put forth to people here in US.

To be continued..

(I will start this write up as a series, as there are quite some funny and over the top kind of experiences I went through while knowing more about this woman. This one is just a backstory of this character that I will be writing about in the impending ones.)

दिन भरी काम छैन , टोलमा जाउ बन्द छ , भुस्या कुकुर बाहेक अरु छैनन| कही न कही कतै ""Agitate" गर्नै पर्‍यो नत्र खाएको पच्दैन अनी निन्द्रा पनि न परे पछी अन्तिम उपाय साझा छिर्यो अनी बौलाउन थाले पछी २-४ जनाले समर्थन्मा २ लाईन लेखी दिए पछी लभ मेकिङ भन्दा ठुलो सन्तुस्ठी लिदै सुत्ने होला| हावा भरी दिएको पनि बुझ्दैन अनी भुस्या झै झन बढी ख्याउ ख्याउ गर्न पुग्छ |एउटा गुलेलाई बच्चा जन्मदा संगै हुदा बुढीलाई ढाडस मिल्छ भनि सल्लाह पाएछ र तेसै गरेछ । बच्चा पाउने बेला बुढीले पाएको दुख अनि च्यातिएको मुजी बाट वच्चा निस्किएको देखेर जाठो तर्सिएर अबत चिक्दा पनि चिक्दिन भन्ने भएछ मा पुगेछ अनि तेस्माथि बुढीले काटेर फाल भने पछि फाले पनि भन्न पुगेछ । अब त्यो दिन पर्खेर बस्ने छ , कुनै बेला सोधन पुग्ली ए बुढा तिम्रो त्यो पलायो को पलाएन अनि मात्र उसको सुतेको एक आँखे नाग जाग्नेछ। तिमि भुसतिघ्रे हरु एक महिना बित्न पाएको छैन चिकन हतार हुन्छ ।चोरको खुट्टा काट भन्दा चोरले चै काटी हाल्छ भनेर आफ्नो खूट्टो थुत्थो रे ? मलाई के थाहा साझामा एस्ता एस्ता ब्यक्ती पनि छन भनेर | थाहा भए पनि कस्लाई के मन पर्छ भनी आमाले छोरालाई मिठो मिठो पकवन बनाएर पस्कने हामी तिनीहरुको आमा होईनौ | बच्चाले एउटै कुरा १५ -२० चोटि दोहोह्र्याएर आफ्नो कुरा को सहमति पाइने भएर दोहोर्याएकै दोहोर्याइ गर्छ , बिचरा बाबुरोले पनि तेसै गर्छ |
गोपी कृष्ण - सुङा रटाई गर न तोता बहादुर |

7 good effing reasons this GayPride is Underwear:-

Explicit talks:

“So, what really happened?”

“That bitch, Joyce threw us under the bus. Called HR to tell them that Meneska and me were talking about this explicit stuff at work!”

“Really.”

“Jen called both of us and reminded us of the work policy and code of conduct at workplace. Frigging felt like high school kids.”

Jen is the supervisor here.

So this another employee, Meneska and Lu are always chatting whenever there is any downtime. I personally do not get involved with the kind of conversation these women are having at work, so I had no idea as to what might have transpired. But, as you may all know, there is always this certain section of people we will find talking about the stuffs that would embarrass you as a listener rather than embarrassing them as talkers. Just like how one day walking by, I overheard a random girl talking loudly on a street, over the phone, about how she has been feeling horny these days. I was like what the hell? What did I just hear? People have all kinds of priorities. They do not feel ashamed at all to talk it out in the open.

So the rumor has it that Lu and Meneska were talking about how they want to get implants added to their breasts and butts to look more attractive as if that’s all that is there remaining in this whole world to worry about. Both women look fine if you ask me, but they wanted something bigger and better apparently. Imagine hearing all this conversation yourself. This is ridiculous in a way, but people do have talks like this and that they want to go under a knife for these sorts of procedures over here in this US of A. This might be a pretty common thing to talk about especially among those who have money, and as I have already hinted Lu is not from some average Joe’s family. So what these ladies were unaware of was while conversing was that they have offended another work mate who seemed to have overheard their juicy conversation and have filed a complaint after that.

Well, past this rendezvous with HR, Meneska could not take it at all that somebody has gone behind her back and talked shit about her. She was just too softy by nature let’s say. I would see from that day onwards she has been constantly spewing venom against Joyce with almost everyone she meets on her way. Now you can hear crap about the person one time but to hear it almost every day, it was almost getting too much for every one of us at work.

Lu, whereas was pretty cool about this whole situation. She was not constantly living on that angst like Meneska and making everyone’s life like next to hell. So, what if the supervisor had a talk with each one of them in person, she was never a softy type. She just brushed it off saying “This is not the end of my world! Just that I am going to have to excommunicate this bitch, Joyce forever!”

Love her or loathe her, now this is Lu for us.

To be continued..

बेन्नेडिक्ट महाशय,

म कहिले काहीँ गलती ले साझा छिर्छु र यसो चियो गर्छु. आखिर डेढ वर्ष सम्म तपाईं को बाउ को बिहे देखाएको हुँं, चटक्क पनि त छाड्न मिल्दैन नी, होइन त? आदत से मजबूर हैं, अब क्या कहेँ आपसे.

अचानक मेरो नाम देख्न पुगेँ तपाईं को हावादारी पोस्ट मा, बिना कारण गाली गलौज गर्नु भएको रहेछ. फेरी अहिले सम्म सबै जना मा मलाई नै देख्न हुँदो रैछ. त्यो बानी अहिले सम्म गएको छैन? धिक्कार छ तपाईं लाई. तपाईं मुजी को बौद्धिक बिकास अहिले सम्म भएको रहेन रहेछ.

एउटा कुरा सुन्नुस् - गे प्राइड को हुन मलाई थाहा छैन. तर मेरो लेखाइ हमेशा शुद्ध हुन्छन् - नेपाली होस्, अङ्रेजी या हिन्दी. उनको लेखाइ मेरो होइन. म गे प्राइड होइन तर मलाई खुशी लागेको छ तपाईं को लेखाइ ले अरु को पनि दिमाग खराब हुँदो रहेछ.

मुजी कसै ले पढोस् नपढोस् तपाईं को दुई पैसे कथा माटोक्ने मा जम्मा चार वटा पोस्ट छ जसमा तपाईं नपुंसक् हुतिहारा को आफ्नै तीनवटा पोस्ट, माटोक्ने तपाईं लाई शरम लाग्दैन? मुजी घण्टा खान त्यस्तो नराम्रो स्टोरी लेखेको? चिक्ने तोर्पे, अब हेर्नुस्, म तपाईं को कथा आफ्नै शैली मा लेक्छु अनि मुजी तपाईं को तुरी सुक्छ र चाकाँ बत्ती बल्छ.

मुजी राइटर रे, माटोक्ने सोस्तानी पढेको तोर्पे शेक्स्पियर हुन खोज्छ.

मलाई चै यो गे प्राइड तेइ मगन्तनारायण लोगने होकी जस्तो लागि रहेको छ . तपाइको success देखि जल्छ त्यो लाटो . हुन त तपाई,हरखे ,काव्रेलीहरुको त्यो सङ कुनै लेबल नै मिल्दैन तैपनि तलाईहरुलाई आफ्नो प्रतिद्वन्दी ठान्छ त्यो हनुमन्ते . २ ४ ओटा पोस्ट हरुमा तपाईलाइ बिना सित्ति गाली गलौच गएको मैले देखेको छु . तपाईको "नेपाल यात्रा " हिट भए देखि त तेस्लाई काम ज्वरो नै आएको छ . तपाईलाइ काउन्टर दिन दिनको २ ४ ओटा पोस्ट हाल्छ तर पढ्ने लाटो आफै मात्र हुन्छ .

मिल्छ भने नबुझे नि तेस्को लेखमा आक्कल झुक्कल " वावा , दामी " भनेर लेखिदुनुस न गरिब खुसि हुन्छ . तपाईको नेपाल यात्रा साझा को FB page मा highlight मा छ , यो कुरा लोगने लाइ नभन्नुस है त्यो मर्छ ठाउँको ठाउँ <<

बेन्नेडिक्ट को तल पुगिसकेको पोस्ट पुन: एकचोटी माथि ल्याउँदै छु, दया गरेर कसैले पढेर केही जवाफ दिनुस प्लिज, क्रमश: लेखेर बिलायो बौचा, अब अर्को भाग कहिले आउने हो, लौन बेन्नेडिक्ट को तर्फ बाट म बिनती गर्छु.

Please read this story, please please please and enter your valuable comments. I have tried to salvage this shitpost once before, please help your brother Bennedict. Help him keep a face.

बेनी डिक ब्रो, मलाई यो Lu क्यारेक्टर Carmen Rita Wong बाट ईन्सपायर्ड लाग्यो है। मान्छेको लाईफ नै प्लेजराईज्ड गरेर आफ्नो क्रिएसन बनाउने प्रयास गर्नु भएको त होइन नि?