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raja_
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Posted on 08-13-10 8:30
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आज भन्दा १० बर्ष अगी म मेरो घर को अर्थिक अवस्था अलिक कम्जोर भएकाले बिदेसिन पुगेको हुँ। मेरो घरमा बुवा मुवा एक दाई र एक दिदी हुनु हुन्थियो। म २३ बर्षको थिए जब बिदेसिएको थिए। त्यो समयमा घरमा दाई पढ्ने दिदी पढ्ने म कान्छो छोरा अलिक कम पढ्ने भएको हुना ले बुवा ले बाबु त बिदेश गएर दुई चार पैसा कमाउन सकेर हामीलाई पठाउन सकिश भने हाम्रो परिवारको लागि एकदम राम्रो हुन्थियो भनिरहनु हुन्थियो। त्यतीबेला दाई इन्जिनिर पड्दै हुनु हुन्थियो भने दिदी मेडिसिन पड्दै हुनु हुन्थियो।
म स्टुडेन्ट भिसामा होल्यान्ड गए तर मेरो मुख्य उदेश्य पढ्नु भन्दा पनि पैसा कमाएर घर पठाउनु थियो। त्यहा गएर म केही नेपाली साथीहरु सँग सँगइ बशे। मेरो उदेश्य पैसा कमाउनु भएको हुनाले उनिहरुले पनि कलेज नगएर काम खोज्न नै जाने सल्लाह दिये। गएको ३ दिनमा नै मेरो कलेज को डकुमेन्ट देखाएर बैंक खाता खोले अनी डेबिट कार्ड दियो। त्यही नेपाली साथीहरुको सहयोगमा मैले कुल्बिन्दर पाजीको पसलमा काम गर्ने मौका पाए। कमएको पैसा अफुलाई खान बस्न र अली अली पाकेट मनी बाहेक सबै पैसा घर नै पठाउथिए। घरमा कैले पनि पैसा पुग्दैन थियो। पठाउन अलिकती ढिलो भयो भने पनि फोन बजि हल्थियो। अनी घरको पैसाको समस्या सुरु हुन्थियो। दिदी दाईको टिउसन फी, छिमेकीले तला थपे, घर मर्मत गर्नु पर्ने, फलाना सँग लिएको रिन, एस्लाई दिनु पर्ने उस्लाई दिनु पर्ने त त्यहा जाँदा लिएको रिण इत्यदी इत्यदी। घरको समस्या टार्न पनि डेविड कार्ड ले सकेन क्रेडिट कार्ड नै चलाऊनु पर्यो। अब क्रेडिट कार्ड चलएको पैसा पनि तिर्नु पर्यो घरमा भनेजती पैसा पठाउने काम कम हुन थाल्यो। बल्ल ५ बर्ष पछी दाई दिदी को पढाई सकियो सुन्दा धेरै खुशी लाग्यो अब जिम्बेबरी पनि कम हुने महसुस भयो। तर एकदिन घरबाट अचानक फोन अयो कुरा उही त्यही पैसाकै दाई अमेरिका जाने रे दिदी पनि जनेरे पैसा चाइयोरे, सात बर्ष सम्ममा मसँग क्रेडिट कार्डमा अली अली बचेँको मात्र बाँकी थियो। अब ऐले सम्म घरको समस्या टारी रहेको थिए यो पनि उनी हरुको भबिश्य बन्ने कुरा जसरी पनि जुटाउन तिर लागे। क्रेडिट कार्डमा भएको सबै पैसा निकाले साउसँग पेस्की लिये, साथीहरु सँग खोजे सबै चहिने जती पैसा घर पठए। उनिहरुले भिषा पनि पएछन। यता काम गरेर पैसा तिर्न गर्हो भएपनी उता दिदी दाई अमेरिका जान पएकोमा खुशी लाग्यो। अब मलाई यता पैसा तिर्दा तिर्दा गर्हो हुन थल्यो। साउले पनि काम धेरै लगएर कम पैसा दिन थाल्यो, साथी हरुले पनि पैसा मग्न थाल्ये, क्रेडिट कर्ड ले पनि ओवर चार्ज बिल पठाउन थाल्यो, टेलिफोन को बिल तिर्न नसकेर लाइन काटिदियो। एक्दिन दिक्क भएर नेपाल फर्किने सोच बनए एस्तो खाते जीवन बिताउनु भन्दा त नेपाल फर्कन नै बेश ठाने।…………………………………..
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sunsweesh
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Posted on 08-15-10 3:53
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la mula stupid bhanda pani yo bhojpure lai kati ris utecha herana, ok my bad alrt
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sanjam
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Posted on 08-15-10 4:44
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raja is doin great but try putiing control on it, if u are not able to pay credit card bill,afford to study, pay for ur cell then it will be the worst, ur mates will run away from u n will kick ur ass which will be the most weird thing, so help ur family which everyone does but take care of urs also
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ANS
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Posted on 08-15-10 10:31
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Money is dangerous. I almost got to your situation in past.. but I somehow got the courage to say NO in certain situations... And thanks for sharing your story.
My principle - first equip yourself, and then only help others. Don't jump into river to save someone if you yourself dont know how to swim.
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hariyo
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Posted on 08-15-10 10:45
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Raja your story is like mine but now I have realized that you gotta be better yourself first then see others. Thx for sharing your story.
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HomeBoi
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Posted on 08-16-10 11:54
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तिमीलाई कतिको मनमा शान्ति छ? आफुले दु:ख गरेर आफ्नो दाई र् दिदिलाई पढाईदीएअकोमा। मलाई विश्वाश छ, तिनीहरुले आवस्य नै बुज्झ्नेछन्। म पनि तिम्रो नै बाटोमा हिंडेको हुँ। अहिले सम्झन्दा गरौब लाग्छ आफु प्रती,
आर्थिक कारणले गर्दा परीवार भित्रको दुरी नबढाउ।
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syanjali
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Posted on 08-16-10 12:05
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We must learn to say no and it can be said very positively and non-offensive way. Specially in monetary once you are in may end up like this and now he trying to take it out of his chest.
But what you did is, hammered him with a nasty word "Stupid" Respect and get respected.
Last edited: 16-Aug-10 12:08 PM
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Srijana 12
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Posted on 08-16-10 12:13
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I am eagerly waiting to see how your story develops....
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Bhojpure01
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Posted on 08-16-10 12:34
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Were you expecting something different? What was that , then? Just curious.
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stopthewar
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Posted on 08-17-10 7:00
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I do not have anything now.
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hariyo
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Posted on 09-01-10 7:33
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khai ta story ko arko bhag raja?
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Bhojpure01
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Posted on 09-02-10 11:03
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I do not think we should drag this thread anymore, he helped his family and we all appreciated his generosity and we all agreed it was too much to do but he was satisfied some point and he reached a point and knew enough is enough. Now his eyes are open and will not contribute a dime. Now on he will be concentrating on his own benefit and too early to add more (my personal thought only).
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BABAL Khate
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Posted on 09-02-10 4:34
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Raja,
I thought I would add my 2 paisa.
I feel that there is a balance between sacrifice and expectation. Some people sacrifice a lot and also have high expectations from the people they sacrifice for. These people get disappointed. Other people can sacrifice but have relatively low expectations from the people they sacrifice for. I feel these people are happy. But of course there is such a thing as sacrificing to the point that you ruin any means to help anyone, including yourself. As someone in the thread above said, if you're already tired of swimming, don't go deeper into the water to rescue others.
Last edited: 02-Sep-10 04:36 PM
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chormathichakar
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Posted on 09-02-10 5:17
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raja ta manche ghantai jasto rahey chha ni.." अर्थिक अवस्था अलिक कम्जोर भएकाले बिदेसिन पुगेको ....tyo pani holland ..america,,nasakine bho raja lai....
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Bhojpure01
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Posted on 09-02-10 6:42
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Babal: Like it. Know your limitation for rescuing others.
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Srijana 12
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Posted on 09-02-10 7:14
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Raja Ji, Please complete the story. Short writing would be enough. Then the thread comes to dead end by itself.
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nepalkochoro2008
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Posted on 09-02-10 8:38
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raja_
i can see your sacrifice, your utmost care and respect for your family and your pain too. at some time in my life i was at the same point where you are right now. there was a time i sacrificed for my family like the way you did....always put my family's need first and put my own needs second but for everything i did all i received was 3 years of depression, the depression so intense that left me to the point i lost all my hope for my life. reminds me of a linkin park's song "In the End" especially this phrase "I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter".
but lets get real... if you are thinking that your brother and sister will help you back like the way you did, i would say please don't expect anything back from them unless your brother and sister think in the same way as you do. you created this mess, you are in this mess so you got to solve it. its possible that they might not help you at all so be mentally prepared to face that too. I would advice you to explain your situation to your family and be clear and see what their responses are....if they truly appreciate your help and sacrifice they will help you back, if not they will back off.
The fact is don't think too much about it. thing how you can get yourself out of the mess You have done everything you could and you have successfully fulfilled your responsibility, feel proud and good about it. Now let them complete theirs. If you start expecting from them and you don't get any, you will get depressed.
good luck for your future
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raja_
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Posted on 10-04-10 2:47
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भाग २ नेपाल गए। धेरै बर्ष पछी आमा बुवा सँग भेट भयो। खुशी लाग्यो। बा आमा लाई पनि मलाई देखेर खुशी लाग्यो होला तर जती मैले उहा हरुको मुहार मा खुशीको उक्सुकता सोचोको थिए त्यती पाइन। उहाहरु त्यती धेरै बोली राख्नु पनि भएको थिएन। मैले ठिकै छ, छोरा को अवस्था देखेर उदास हुनु भएको होल जस्तो लाग्यो। अनी आफ्नो घर लाई निहलेर हेरे। घर को तला थपिएछ। रङ रोकन भएछ। त्यहा दुक्ख गरेकोले को यहाँ राम्रो भएछ नि आमा भनेर आमा तिर हेरे। त्यतिकैमा बा ले तेरो दु:खले भन्दा पनि सिमरामा भएको घर घडेरी बेचेर माथि तला थपेको हो भन्नु भयो। म चुप लागे केही बोलिन तर बा ले म सँग तल थप्नु पर्यो पैसा चएयो चै भनेर भन्नु भएको थियो, त्यो बेला मुस्किल्ले जम्मा गरेर पठाई दिएको हुनाले राम्रो सँग याद छ। ठिकै छ भने मन मनै। १ बर्ष पछी ,,,,,, आज म एकदम खुशी छु। मलाई पनि अरु नेपाली हरु लाई जस्ती डि.भि पर्यो।। घरमा आए बा आमा लाई पनि भने उहहरु पनि खुशी हुनु भयो मनाउ म नेपाल आएको बेलामा भन्दा पनि डि.भि परेको मा झन धेरै खुशी हुनु भएको अनुभव भयो। सबै कगजी काम सकेर म पनि अमेरिकाको तयारीमा लागे। उता अमेरिकामा पैला कता जाने भन्ने कुरा भयो। दाई को अन्य स्टेट मा जानु पर्ने भएको हुनाले पहिले दिदिको मा जाने भए। हो मेरो प्लेन ल्यान्ड गर्यो स्यन फ्रन्सिको को एअरपोटमा। १ घण्टा पछी इमिग्रेसन को काम सकेर बहिर आए। दिदीलाई खोजे कतै देखिन। कसैको साहयताले फोन गरे "म आउँदैछु ट्राफिक ले गर्दा ढिलो भएको हो बस्दै गर" भन्नु भयो। १ घण्टा पछी दिदी आउनु भयो। दिदी लाई त मैले चिन्नै सकिनछु दिदी ले नै "राज के छ चिनिनश ल वेलकम टु अमेरिका" भन्नु भयो मलाई पनी खुशीलग्यो दिदिलाई भेटेर। १० बर्ष पछी भेटेको दिदी को लुवए खुवए सबै परिवर्तन भएछ। कहाँ त्यो झोला बोकेर कुर्था सुरुवल लगाएर हिड्ने दिदी कपाल पनि छोटो टीसर्ट स्कर्ट मा देख्दा चिन्नै नसकिने। आफ्नो लगेज गाडीको पछाडि राखेर हुएकिएउ हामी घर तिर। दिदि बस्ने ठाउँ स्यन होजे रहेछ। हामी घर मा ग्एउ दिदी राम्रो अपट्मेन्टमा बस्नु हुदो रहेछ। अनी हाम्रो कुरा कानी सुरु हुन थालयो। मैले सोधे दिदी हजुर कुन हस्पिटल मा काम गर्नु हुन्छ? दिदिले म हस्पिटलमा हैन एउटा ईण्डियन को स्टोर मा काम गर्छु भन्नु भयो। नेपाल को पढएले काम नपाएने रहेछ। ऐले म यहाँ को कम्युनिटी कालेजमा पढ्छु भन्नु भयो। अनी मैले दिदी तपए त मेडिसिन पढेको मान्छे किन यहाँ यसरी बस्नु भएको? बरु नेपालमा नै राम्रो छ नि भने, दिदी ले पनि ह्यआ आज आएको दिन् नै किन एस्तो कुरा गर्यआ भोली कुरा गरौला भन्नु भयो। अनी हामी खाना खाएर सुत्न तिर लग्एउ। दिदीले ल राम्रो सँग सुत है भोली भेटौँला गूड नाइट भनेर सुत्न जानु भयो। म पनि सुत्न गये, निन्द्रा लागेन दिदिको कुराहरु सोच्न थाले, दिदिले आफ्नो पढए अनुसारको काम नपएको नगरेको देखेर धेरै चित्त दुख्यो,, उहहरुको पढाइको लागि भनेर म दिन्मा १९ घण्टा काम गर्थिए जम्मा ४ घण्टा सुत्थे, त्यस्तो दु:ख वालुवामा मिसिएको देखेर साह्रै दु:ख लाग्यो। बाँकी अर्को भागमा ---------
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raja_
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Posted on 10-04-10 4:30
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................................................
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Supernote
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Posted on 10-04-10 5:32
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Thanks for sharing your real life story. With you struggle lots of life are able to be happy too. I know when the things are not as per you expected ............... hope to be able to read other part have a best of things you ever wished... best of luck for your future
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kalopani
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Posted on 10-04-10 9:56
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ho bhai.. dai bhai didi bahneene kehi nabhay huncha. .. afno paisa afai sita rakhaa
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