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patalikopoi
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Posted on 02-14-11 8:15
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Last edited: 19-Feb-11 02:17 PM
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sirus_me
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Posted on 02-15-11 12:51
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Totally agree with you kalopani,
No offense to DV winners but i see so many people being jealous of students like us who get good jobs after struggling and busting their ass for 6 years while they straight out go to work in gas station and think that we are making zillions of money.
This is America. If you work hard, Money is in the air. If you don't, exit is on the right side :)....................
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herealone
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Posted on 02-15-11 12:55
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siruis, i like your suggestion. Hikingma bhanne...ill think of it if i ever have to use it.
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191karma
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Posted on 02-15-11 7:35
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I think you need to grow up bro. If you cant trust her, I bet you cant trust anyone. Who cares about your family. So it is ok for you and I to watch porns and you expect her to be pure and devoted all her life to you. it is ok for you to have a girlfriend, but not for her. Whatever it is, thats history. Doesnt she deserve equal.
I think you are BIG LOSER who cannot see your own fault, but use her as an escape goat. Family pide is also another excuse for you. So you hold MSc, but deep down you are so shallow. You cant even treat your wife with the respect she deserve. I feel SORRY for you. I hope you wont use her Citizenship Application as an issue and make her beg and cry.
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Riten
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Posted on 02-15-11 10:09
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patali_ko_poi,
If you are so stuck on your chauvinistic ways, go ahead and divorce her. But be prepared to give your patali half of all your possessions. Plus, you will be paying alimony for foreseeable future to patali. You are a US citizen now. We don't treat women as off-the-shelf product at Walmart. Actually, to be fair, some of us do. But there is a law to balance that.
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amricane
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Posted on 02-15-11 11:36
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I don't understand this point bro you said if she had told you she had boyfriend and left him and you will be happily get married with her !! No offense bro in your entire thread I didn't realize that u are such big heart boy and if she had told you u will get marry her! U are just trying to be Great by saying them! I don't see her fault in those thing (sex with ex bf, watching porn). I don't know about other thing but nepal has quiet developed in this field so its not a big point I guess and she might have lied because she don't want to leave american green card holder like you ! Put urself in her position and put ur hands in ur heart and say would u tell the guy that u are not virgin and had bf in past !! No way bro ! Get life , forget past live in present ! Think about leaving her if she still continue to lie you( not about past, in present and future stuff) ! But as I think bro if u leave her for such a crap reason u willll never be happy in life , who know ur next wife be like her !!
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ANS
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Posted on 02-15-11 1:22
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You do not sound emotionally healthy. All the problems are created by your own thoughts, by your own feelings and by your own hypothesis. I did not see a single concrete proof of evidence to support your belief in your entire post.
1. She did not have bf, and she said that to you when you asked her. And you think she lied to you.
2. She watched movies and learnt the positions (it is common), and she told that to you. And you feel she is cheating you.
3. You are a US citizen and your parents used that to sell you in Nepal as the most prominent quality in you. And now you say - she married you cuz of your US citizenship.
Please, don't ruin your marriage. There is no issue at all. All those issues arose from your thoughts.
Talk to your wife - explain her your problems. She might not even be aware of what you are feeling.
Last edited: 15-Feb-11 10:54 PM
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Lahure Kancha
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Posted on 02-15-11 1:38
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बनको बाघले भन्दा मनको बाघले खान्छ!!
Talk it out with her, you need to express your feelings/concern with your spouse!! Trust her ,will you??
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Vhootee
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Posted on 02-15-11 2:03
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this is what we call "Chauta khana gayeko budi jhool ma doobi mari". You left the perfectly fine Nepali woman (surely thinking her character will be less than of a typical girl from Nepal) and went all that way to marry someone you barely knew. This is the classic "cons" of arranged marriage. Let this be a lesson for all those who are thinking of going back to get married. Those days of "Satya Sabitri" are over. Our Nepali women have moved on with time, you'll have to accept it.
What world do u live in, what family were you brought up? Do u mind tell us your caste? I'm amazed that you were expecting a virgin. OMG. I thought it only happed in Pakistan.
Boy friend...seriously? Whether she tells you or nor, if that is the issue, then you should have never left Nepal. Go back, save your life. What happens when you have your own kid someday in the country? I bet you'll behead him/her if they turn out gay in the name of "honor killing".
I seriously don't think it will work even if he opens up to her, esp with that 12th century mentality.
Anyway...my dear fellow Nepali brother....GOOD LUCK.
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tamanglakola
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Posted on 02-15-11 2:21
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patalalikopoi, you scared me.
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dbst
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Posted on 02-15-11 7:06
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Man, the easiest and must to do - show this to your wife and discuss. it might be possible after her confession and apology, you will feel better or give her time to get new Boy friend .
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nice_bro
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Posted on 02-16-11 1:46
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Patalikopoi,
Now time has changed. We all need to accept it.
What you think bro, lets say if you leave this girl and can find a girl better than this (virgin)?? (We need to accept there are no dream girls in reality)
Nobody is perfect here.
Try to be happy with your current wife. Broaden your views and horizon. Mainly, do not treat women as product of Wal-Mart like someone already said. Try to respect her and be confident.
What if she was your sister and married to somebody like you?
If I were in your shoes, it would not have bothered me if she had boyfriend in the past or had sex with him.
As long as she will not cheat you while she is married you. You should be fine.
Do not think about divorce. In a year or two, you will be fine.
Only decide about divorce if you find she is cheating you.
(A sathi nepal ma ta kohi keta ra keti sangai hidyo bhane , arule boyfriend bhandi halchan. Nepal ma kura katne ko ke kaami cha ra.
Nepali keti le arranged marriage garna lagda mero pahila boyfriend thiyo bhanee stithi cha?? Affai sochata.)
I don’t see any problem at all in your relationship.
Be happy and make her happy.
Good luck.
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The Lonely Traveler
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Posted on 02-16-11 4:05
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Last edited: 18-Mar-11 11:39 AM
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DeltaGamma
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Posted on 02-16-11 5:28
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Guys,
I am little bit confuse, if girl continuous denied that she did not had sex with her bf and say she was just friend . what to do?
If she was talking about her sex life with her bf with her friend when i was accidently present. and her brother is jelouse brcause of i had done better than him. possible her bro had sex with her . Her bro insult her infront of me , and ask her to sleep with other guy when i am out from apartment. go smoke , go eat out . spend his all money this way her brother said infront of me . what to do???
ask her send me jail with fake case and so on...
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Green_is_color
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Posted on 02-16-11 6:06
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Shame on u man!!
Last edited: 16-Feb-11 06:06 PM
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ajakal
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Posted on 02-16-11 8:23
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Patali ko poi .
First of all you have to know something about yourself. You got DV which was the biggest lottery or achievement of your life. I know few DV winner, they always compare their other achievement with is DV which seems inferior. So do not compare life and wife with DV, then you can minimize or shrink your pain and escalate your happiness. Second , you told that, I either I will give her citizenship or divorce. It sound interesting, here you have to think about reality? How many people around you are living without citizenship? If she will ask you return her those day can you return her happiness to her?
Patalai ko poi, I don’t underestimate you because you are the solo jury of your pain so you better know about what is happening inside you but sorry to say, As a man , you just ask something from her. I know you want something return from her, as a fact, life is not to get something, give or scarify. So try to give her whatever you have , I mean misunderstanding, hate , dubious too so that you will be free from these things.
You wrote here he knows some position, that is great she knows how to make you happy but you lean mind thought that she is not a virgin .don’t think that AJAKAL it happens .
It is serious time now that you have to talk with your wife everything she might realize her mistake if she had done before. Other wise you will be blocked by the unseen path of your life. if you want to live happily then you have to forget your past…. Dude it is life
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eternalsunshine
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Posted on 02-17-11 1:11
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first of all dude you are sick. just your wife knows how to enjoy sex doesnot make her whore. if you dont know how to relish then you are an ignorant and i think thats jelalosy thats venting out in form of your suspision.
if your wife knows sex better than you then you'r lucky. enjoy your life. atleast she is not having sex with other guy with different style
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Agnibikram
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Posted on 02-17-11 5:56
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Gee people. Get off your high horses already.
Patali's husband merely asked for your input. Why's everyone ganging up on him?
You could all just be supportive and provide your feedback in a decent manner.
Patali's husband,
You're better off changing your mindset man. I moved back a couple months ago and I must tell you that Kathmandu's changed a lot in recent years. This whole ridiculous desire to find a "virgin" is bogus. Its your "fault" if you were a virgin man. Take your wife's experience as a spice that'd liven your sex life up. You probably don't even know what a decent blowjob or giving head feels like, do you? She definitely does and she's gonna demand and give it to you.
Sex is a necessity and an integral part of our lives. I don't know about you man but back in school, when my hot science teacher used to come to class, I'd spend the entire class fantasizing about having sex with her and I wasn't alone. Further, such thinking is normal. Women are human beings too. We've got testicles and a penis while they've got boobies and a vagina ( some have penises too but lets not go there ). As such, our wants, desires and fantasies are almost similar too.
In Nepalese society, we seem to be hung up on a notion that guys sleeping around is ok while girls sleeping around isn't. In truth, no matter who does it, isn't ok. A man outwhoring himself and a woman outslutting herself are bad acts, not because they slept around but because there are chances that they might follow up even after being in a committed relationship.
At least, I hope your wife didn't indulge in sexual relationships while you were in the states. I've noticed that one of the most common trends of late has been married women w/ hubbies residing outside sleeping around with other dudes. Now that's a disgraceful act that I'd condone but a girl sleeping with another guy prior to her marriage is as normal of an act as you can imagine.
So, I'd urge you to get rid of paranoia and accept your wife for who she is now, not what she is.
All that said, if I were you, I'd take her to a nice dinner, and ask her to open up and then go on from there..
Good luck man.
Last edited: 17-Feb-11 06:10 AM
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monkyyou
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Posted on 02-17-11 3:24
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zip26
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Posted on 02-17-11 4:39
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i think if she is cheating on u after ur marriage...then its very wrong......if she had sex on her past before she met u...i think u can forgive her....
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boulevard dreams
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Posted on 02-17-11 5:14
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OMG, So this is how few of our sajha members behave huh. Why all guys are attacking him like this. It feels like nobody got chance to write on any threads from last few days and once they got it, here's the result. I bet you except for few users everybody else was cursing him for what he think of his wife. Guys he is just asking for a suggestion, Do's and Dont's and he is asking that i a nice way, but don't attack him like a 10 horny guys trying to get laid with a woman. It's his life, let him do what he wants, we have right to give him good or bad suggestion but we don't have right to say what's good and bad for him. Just give him suggestion, don't interprete it.
I like the way Agni said, take her to the dinner and ask her to open. good luck and
jadau.
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