it might be because its time for me to get married like some of my friends did. sometimes we discuss about marriage. most of my friends think like we have to go back to get married and come back again. I have also seen similar statements in sajha.com as well sometime back. i was thinking abut it and was curious about this thing: most of the time this type of discussion is started by a guy not a girl. do only nepali guy( i dont mean all here) who lives abroad go back to nepal to get married? how about nepali girls (not all)? do they also go back to nepal to get married and come with spouse or they generally dont go back to nepal for marriage purpose?

speaking of setting up guys and girls, i just happened to check out the matrimonial section here at sajha to pass the time. i dont think most of the matrimonial posters read the threads, but here's my thought on it anyways. quite a few of the the posts suck (particuarly the guy postings) for the most part, because guys write down one lousy sentence like "i am a nice guy" or "i like to make friends" or my personal favorite "i want a good partner " in their personal statement.

if i were a girl checkign out these ads, i would not bother replying cos A) i dont know jack about the guy to begin with B) the guy cannot market himeself well. another thing that tickled me was that quite a few males chose "female" from the pull down list (whose default choice is male, btw). if i were a female, i would not wnat a retard who either A) does not know his sex B) has a short attention span and cannot even fill out a form correctly.

Why can't one fall in love without any hassles in the first place. Why does even liking a guy has to have a long string attached.

Nepali Kanchhi, thanks for your posting. Actually I was looking for that. could you please elaborate why nepali girls have hard time going back and marrying a guy from nepal? what i feel about higher education is: i have masters degree, so if i look for a girl for marriage, i would not marry a girl with education up uo to slc. but i would nt mind marrying a girl having bachelors or higher degree. i dont think each and every nepali guys have such ego like i shoudl not marry a girl who is educated in usa or who is more educated than me. both guy and girl will have career and they will work hard to be successful. if guy thinks that his working experience will be bneneficial in a long run, then he might not go for further education, rather work with his say undergrad degree and become professial in his field. while in case of girl, she might think she needs higher education for her career advancement , suppose her career in in academia field or research. so in this case, there is very good chance that this girl will have higher degree then a guy. so what will happen now? should that guy think that i am inferior to her or he should be proud of his wife?

Tero Dai dude

....."I was just wondering if premarital sex can be regarded as a case of moral degradation. Is there any justification for sex before marriage on moral grounds."..........

Extramarital sex is a case of moral degradation however premarital sex is not in most cases (like if you had had sex with someone else before you ever met and decided to get married to your would be wife). Premarital sex becomes (or should become) irrelevent after the marriage.

ufff... yet another thread about marriage!

AeutiKT,
do u really have to distort/disfigure/manhandle my handle (o;

anyway tnx.


===========================================
in jest,
this time,
what do i know ??
seems like an exaggeration!!!!

Got this email quite a while ago. Many of you may have already read the story. Anyways, let me paste it:


Subject: FW: Mentality of Women ! Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 10:20:38 +0545

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,"Thank you, but I failed to menti! on that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the World .The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and all women will flock to him." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish,and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are cl! ever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =












The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.


NB This e-mail is confidential and may contain personal views of the sender which are not the views of the poster unless specifically stated.

So I'm going to regard my first marriage as an experiment and a kind of "research thing" which I'll not reveal to my "to-be-divorced" "would be wife" until we get divorced.
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Thank you for a good laugh. :D

South, I think you say this because you have probably been in the US for quite a while. I don't know if this is true but I think nepali guys over here will be more understanding when it comes to these differences, but you know how the society in nepal is, how male dominated it is. I personally think it would be very difficult for any girl to go back home and get married to someone who is not on the same level intellectually, not only because it would be hard for her but her guy's ego could make it hard for her, but again I could be wrong because what if you fall in love and are ready to compromise. But I guess we're talking about an arranged marriage in nepal and coming back. Maybe arranged marriages work for many people, that's how it usually happens in nepal, but i don't see how anyone could spend their entire lives with someone they don't even know, let alone love!! And compromising in a situation like this is even harder. I can't speak for all girls out here, but just think of how much freedom we have here and how independant we are compared to back home. Do you think that we will be able to go back and get married to someone with a mentality that men need to dominate women? I can't speak for all because maybe all guys don't think like that but if I or many other girls I know were given a choice, going back getting married and coming back isn't going to be what we choose. What do other ladies say? any differing opinions?

This is getting serious. If home boys and gals think the counterparts are inferior, what is there? This is ridiculous. As far as revoultion of the society is concerned, now home boys are gals are becoming liberal. The next generation will be more liberal. Same with my and only mine home town KTM. Things are changing. Not all are orthodox. Do not depise your home boys, home gals..

Jeez, I feel like Socrates now. HAHAH

Love and Peace to yo all

Nepali kanchhi, I appreciate your posting, however i can not agree with that most of nepali guys have such mentality like dominate his partner or he should be more smart then his partner. sometimes i wonder that it might be only opinion from girls, who still thinks that they have changed a lot and became very liberal while all the guys stays same. the whole world is changing so the mentality guys is. i dont think the youth of nepal think what our parents used to think in this matter. everybody wants to marry a girl/guy with good education and if possible want a guy or girl with good career as well. the world is becomign more and more compitative and they know it will be lot easier to survive if both are educated and can work. i am not saying here to go and marry a guy with no or very less education. what i was trying to say is if someone has undergrad degree here, can she go and marry a guy with similar degree. i dont think usa educated students are more smart then nepali educated students. given the opportunity, anyone can be smart. i did my undergrad in nepal and grad school in usa, and i know what we learn nepal and how competitive we are here.
about arrange marriage, you are right. it is really hard to get married with someone who you do not know for long time. but i guess, our new type of arrange marriage is not like our old days. it is not like guy and a girl never meet before marriage. they do meet, talk to each oter and spend sometime as well. i agree that they will not get enough time here. its not like we only get to know by looking at pictures.

Yeah guys of this generation are probably more open but it would probably be different if you marry an older guy. But I still believe in meeting someone yourself and falling in love and getting married, not like going home getting married and coming back with that person . I've seen it happen a lot but it just doesn't seem right.

Yeha pani SHADI kai kura aayako rahechha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I do have sympathy with Nepali girls who have come abroad and saw that after all it was not necessary at all that she has to get married and live with some Nepali guy with ancient and conservative attiudes.

After all they too can work, have a respetful life and fight the odds of life in their own ways. Why should they submit themselves to their conservative husbands ?

Hey Zalimbro;

When I read your posting ,I laughed out loud.Thanx for that.You are right some stupid a--s -h-e guys are in the ladies profile. They dont know what the hell is their sex?.I would find any ladies replying those crooks a "RETARD".I had checked out some ladies profile(which are mostly fake ones and never e-mailed them) and found some fagats.

About the marriage stuff, I have thought about this a couple of times about girls going back to Nepal and getting married, which I dont think is gonna happen and I do back this up.Girls that are educated here may or may not find a right match back home, and after years of education here who the hell would do an "ARRANGE MARRIAGE". I believe a guy could atleast go back and get married,I wouldnt do that,For women uhm they can find men here.An educated guy and gal can always find a perfect match here.

You know what, I ll soon run a match making firm in New York,heheh.

anymore comments on this?

That's why one should adopt.....
Instead of spending money on marriages.....
Why get married if it is like a business anyway

I have to comment on something someone said in one of their postings. The men of this generation are not dominating and women have this false notion about men. Well to begin with-- There are a lot of nice men out there who truly believe that the man and the woman should be in the same level for a marriage to survive. But believe it or nor there still are some men out there who think that they are supesior and will always have the upper hand in a relationship. There are men who also believe that if their women are smarter than they should simply not show their smartness because of course the man might appear dumber.

I am not saying this to offend any men out there.. as I said there are a lot of nice caring men who think that small things like smartness and level of education should not come in between a relationship. I am just talking about what I have seen. There was this couple with their group of friends and they were discussing a controversial topic. The girl was about to express her opinion which was different than the guys and according to me more sensible. In the middle of a sentence the guy says, "Dont you see that I am talking out here. Why do u have to butt in between." I was shocked! I would certainly hate to be in this kinda relationship and would assume this is the main reason why a girl would not like to go to Nepal and get married to a guy they have no idea about.

For men.. well the worst case scenario will be that the woman is liberal and independent,(not really a bad thing) and the best case scenario, she would listen, obey and do everything her man says, (which according to me is not having their own identity but for men this would not really be a huge problem). So I guess men have a smaller risk going back home to get married!

I would like to be in worst case scenario and would like to have a girl who is intelligent and career oriented rather than a girl who just sits and listen to me and can not make simple decisions.

Rythm, i think there is a risk for guys too right, like if someone likes to have a girl who does nt comment on his decision and after getting married turn out the other way round, then its risky for him as well.

Okay, one more question, since rythm raised a valid point which I have also heard from many guys that they dont want their gf/wife more educated than them. But lets hear from girls, how about you girls? would you like to marry a guy who is less educated than yourself and who only listen to you but does nt make good decisions?

Interesting thread...
I do feel that some people here are right about Nepali guys' mentality. Actually this is the trend everywhere and not just Nepalese that guys want a girl who is less smart, and more accomodating. Why do career women find it hard to sustain relations? Part of the reason lies in the fact that career women are independent and sometimes they outsmart the husbands.
Even for me, I do feel like I don't want a girl who is smarter to me. This isn't just about intellectual capacity. And, as far as most my girl friends are concerned, they also do want a guy who is there for support and who is smarter. These things are complex and I don't think I can elaborate all out here.

However, I don't think I'm going back to get a girl for me. Many differences would arise if I were to bring a girl from Nepal. Girls from US itself have much more in common. Just find someone who is understanding...and of course not driven by her ego...