What is it that keeps Nepalese from returning to Nepal? I have yet to understand.
Is it our misguided priorities in life?
I have witnessed many Nepalese students who have come to US from a middle class, upper middle class or higher class families who can very well live in Nepal with what their family own, or very well find a job if not in Nepal, in neighboring countries. But we would rather stay here in US no matter what and how we live our lives. What is it that drives us to situation where we are willing to sacrifice our loved ones back home, willing to live disorderly and lonely lifestyles here in US, and willing to work in situation risking our lives? In many cases we could very well, go back after finishing up our education, but we do not. We would rather enjoy spending Saturday afternoon and lunch with our relatives and family than trying to either recover from Friday night hangovers, or getting geared up to start a busy work schedule.
Is it the independent lifestyle, money, career, pride that keeps us here even though our aging parents are back home? What is it? Have we gotten our priorities in life messed up?


From my personal experience, I have a lot of Bhutanese friends but they all seem to go back to Bhutan once they are done here in the States with their education. I find it quite contrasting with our way.

Though I don't belong to the generalization that you're making, but sadly it may apply for many cases. Regarding Bhutan, we can't compare with them n' there're several reasons that make it incomparable.

Hurray, you have asked a very important question. Unfortunately there seems to be no concrete answer. Since the beginning of time people have been abandoning their birthplaces for foreign lands. About the only reasonable answer is that the human being as well as other species seem to be infinitely adaptable. Call it evolution although some prefer to call it revolution against their birthplaces. You are aware that many individuals do not adapt to their new environments evidenced by the large numbers of individuals who cannot live in a foreign environment, returning to the more familiar homeland shortly after arrival in the new. Again, survival of the fitest. There is also the fear factor, having made one major mistake by moving to a new land, some prefer not to make another mistake by returning to the old familiar one. Others live the proverbial 'life of quiet desperation' in hopes that someday their situations will improve allowing them to live between cultures frequently visiting both rather than living permanently in either.

Well,
Look at the octagenerians who end up here alone after winning dv lottery. That should tell us something. Then there are BHEDAS. "why USA?"
"K garne yaar, sabai uttai cha" :)

Greed of a better future.

USA is a country of vast opportunities, and poor us are trapped here to grab one of those opportunities. Very few of us make it, but most of us who don’t make it get into the habit of dreaming for a better future, the kind of future Nepal can’t offer us even in dreams. When we realize that we can’t get to our destination its already too late, we are already at the point of no return.

For me..I really dont want to carry the cultural burden that dont feel is not my obligation or a responsibility.

hurray bro(?) hehe...tryn to understand eh?nice ;o)...well if someone does try to understand..gotta appreciate that hoina?

anyways why?to each to their own i guess..wat might seem misguided to us...might not be for another ...vice versa hehe...but well im typing here...cos u did mention the word 'bhutanese' and well got to meet some bhutanese folks just recently and yap...some of them did say they wanna go back to their country and one was sayin..they wanna go back cos..well...guess one does love their 'own' country where they feel 'belonged' and of cos future does look good in bhutan...esp if its prospering(good king?not that im sayn we dun have a good one ;oP hehe)..wat could be more satisfyin then to contribute and know one is helpin one's country in its growth...and of cos...knowin one can do it...without too much 'resistance' hehe...ok ok no idea wat im goin about now...but i do know some nepali frens of mine who cant wait to go back to nepal and do smthing there...so yap...dun lose hope yet re kya ;o) hehe...

and about me..if u ask me...i do wanna go back..one day...for life..when i know i can do smthing...for now...i choose to stay away and well hopefully do stay away...cos yap if i go there now..i be lost!!!!:o| plus u know..'priorities' :oS hehe...ok ok enuf of givin lame reasons..i guess if i had really grown up in nepal i be lookin foward to never goin back..cos yap...grass does look greener on the other side doesnt it?...anyways enuf said...smtimes smthings just cant be explained and understood..so hehe...hope u dun get too much tensions when u try to understand ;o)...

good day..and....Jai nepal ;o) hehe...

One thing I dont wanna return is the beuarocratic system. If you go to work somewhere you have to know some big politician. Ifyou dont know them, you are not promoted. If you are a hard worker you have to follow orders from politician's relatives. He does not work much but still gives you orders. If you need help, he doesnt know to do the simplest things.

This is why I dont want to return to nepal.

I blame the inefficient system there.Inefficient system includes everything bureaurocratic,political ,social and of course economic.
After completing education, I had that deshsewa and idealistic mood to make a change "back home".
Joined the top notch INGO and roamed all over Nepal.
But the bottomline is I was too green,too idealistic ,too naive not to be able to cook books and reports and too much opinionated in Nepali environment.
Come on man ,we had to bribe government official to be able to help people.
How bad can it get?
Personally ,I think you have to be very flexible (I hope you know what I mean) to work in Nepal.
So much for my Deshsewa,I am back to where I started.

kalsang ji,

i thought you were a royalist. nepal is currently ruled by royals and his bhardars. so you don't need to worry about that (ie politicians bureaucracy or whatever you don't like) so come back to nepal anytime please

if you talk about nepotism .. prolly US is more nepotic than US.
Lets c what happens in US
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1. If you think you got JOB because of your qualification then u must be dreaming. Its either because you know somebody or the company has some of your ALUMNI. or your college has a good reputation.
2. In US it is easier for females to land up a Job. [ not being gender biased but its a fact]
3. ONCE AGAIN IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT/HOW MUCH YOU KNOW. Its about WHO YOU KNOW.

Same thing in Nepal hoina ta.

i worked in US from 1998-2003 in industry. [ i got in because of my professor's recommendation. I may have been qualified but without his contact noway would i have got in]
I still do consulting. Its all based on my personal contacts. Not because of my qualification or experience. Of course the track record proves my qualification but all the consulting are through personal contacts.
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once again
what do i know (O:

sorry suppose to be

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.. prolly US is more nepotic than NEPAL.
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thapap,you probably got your foot in the door because of your professor's recommendation.But you still working means you know about the job and know what you do .
In Nepal, you give the job to somebody who can't make head or tail out of it and is still there because he is somebody's somebody.
And about the personal contacts,they are there because you are good at your job and have a good networking quality.

tisa,
may b and/or may b not... who knows.

but being in/out of job does NOT MEAN that ONE KNOWS and DOES NOT KNOW.
60% of the people in big companies are overheads. Too much POLITICS. and bureaucracy.

Tell you an experience I had in 2000.

There was a massive lay off in my company. It was a telecommunication company and it was down sizing from 24000 employee in 1999 to about 8000 by 2000 dec. I was moved from one location in north east to schaumburg, IL. [ no relevency to qualification or work experience. there were 16,000 other engineers. [do not tell me that there were no body better than me pls.... ] Just because, I happen to have a good rapport with my manager who also moved].

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as always
what do i know (O:

Hurray Pal:

You really make me think for a while, not only for a while, for quite a while.

"What keeps us here in the foreignland- especially the melting pot of the universe-USA." Deep one pal! Well, at first we all are allured by the freedom, independence, opportunity and curiosity of the westernly world, and then we struggle to survive on this our own newly-found glory, and on the later phase, we were just lost on our own web of discovery. Perhaps this sound too gloomy, but it is somehow true.

I am not sure about your analogy of Bhutanese students studying here in the United States and going back to their country. May be who knows they are obligated to do so, in the sense that many Bhutanese students along with innumerable international students come on the expense of government,and they are obligated to return back to their homeland no matter what. I am not exactly sure in this particular case. And if your parents or say if you support by yourself, then you will be broke by the time you are out of college, and in that case, the ultimate savior is to work after you finished school and save some for your future. While doing so, time passes. And not to mention, if you have a lucrative job offer and if you have a chances of advancement on your choosen field, then you choose to stay here rather than going back to your country, especially a country like Nepal where you have no means of moving forward. For example, Scientific Researchers who are trained here in the cutting edge technology hoping of having a Nobel Prize winner in future will make no sense of going back to TU University teaching some evolution classes in a virtually non-research institution. Also there are many fields where there are so many dead ends in a country like Nepal.

So like I said prior, it is ok to remain either in Nepal or in the United States. What matters is whether you are satisfied with what you are doing. After all at the end only "Peace of Mind" that matters the most.

Q

Thapap,
Continuing with yesterday's conversation,why do you say we have lots of politics and nepotism here?
We have that everywhere.
I hear my cousins saying that their is racism in school ,in college and sajhaites saying nepotism at work.
Since I don't believe that I am asking you guys a simple question.
Is it because you are minority here ,you feel it more or you have inferiority complex?
Is it just the race or religion card you like to play?
I am not accusing or pointing fingers ,I just like to share experiences so that everybody benefits from it.
I will tell you an incident.
Yesterday there was this Indian techie at my work for some consultancy.I am the only south asian working there so my coworkers come to me and ask "Did I see him or did I talk to him?"
See, this is just human nature that people affiliate with same colour ,language ,religion etc.
It is just like everywhere and not only here.
I want to hear other experiences.

tisa,
may b i am a protagonist who lyks to harp his causes.. i was just laying out my perspective.

i am neither playing minority, racial or any cards. these cards do not take me any where (O:

getting back to discussion,
i was refuting your/or someones argument that US is so fair. Everything is not white or black. and AS YOU JUST ACCEPTED above yes it is there everywhere.

btw, i do not have any inferiority complex or anything. I am happy as who I am [ and this I know] [ btw, i do believe in hard work and labor.]

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as always
what do i know (O:

So we agree that it is not the colour the skin or where you come from but "the work you do and who you are " are the deciding factors in USA.
I hope people who are still in school and want to make life here would keep that in mind for future reference.

TISA,
i think it is really hard to explain it.. but u still did not get my point.

i. ONE IS NEVER ONLY JUDGED MY THEIR WORK.

IT IS ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW.

moving to upper management is all about connection and who you know. NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU KNOW OR WHAT YOU DO.

YES PERFORMANCE MATTER. BUT THAT is in long run.

any whoooo..
since you agreed that there is nepotism in US. I will agree that there is some recognition for HARD WORK and LABOR.

as always being thick skinned (O:

Tisa wrote "So we agree that it is not the colour the skin or where you come from but "the work you do and who you are " are the deciding factors in USA."
Tisa, I wish it was that, really. But unfortunately it is not. Please do not be blind and look around you for racism. It exists everywhere, even in Nepal. And US's history is plagued with it.
I have sat around with some white people who act wisely or try to act wisely when sober, but once drunk they blurt out racial slurs. I have met black who are racist equally.
So racism exits in US, or else it would not be a subject people here in US discuss so much about.