as i was reading through the post on "questions to ask before marrying " ..once again i got to thinking "why marry?" (apart from the legals aspect of marriage) . here of course i'm talking about people in love. i mean you can live together and be there for each other......

i know some might say .. marriage makes u a part of the guy/girls family n all....but i for one PREFER NOT TO GET MARRIED. u can marry n try be a part of your spouse's family....but u'll always be an outsider ...always under the microscope. in ways your "in laws" think your primary duty is to make their precious one happy. you have to be the ideal buhari/ juyai ....when it comes to marriages ...parents tend to have great expectaitons. their own darling child will be far from perfect but yet they think he/she deserves that perfect man/woman....u know the kind where they can "samaj ko agadi chhati fulayera , mero chhora/chhori ko ta falana sanga bihe bho, yesto chha , yesto garchha bhanna milos" n what not....they might like n even love u after a while but you're never good enough.
our families love us inspite of all our shortcomings but they're not as willing to accept shortcomings in the person we marry. "their little angel could have done better than you".
well ....got sidetracked there ....but ....share ideas on why we should or should not marry, do u want to marry,will you marry or anyting else that's even remotely close to this topic...

Lifeinspires- Companionship is the one reason that marriage appeals to me. Especially as you grow older and all your friends and peers get married you'll find there aren't too many people left who can give you their undivided attention. So your options for companionship then narrow down to finding and settling down with someone.

Just my thoughts -a fascinating subject no doubt - thanks for starting the thread.

captain haddok...i know what u mean....tara ni...companionship marriage le matra lyaune kura ho ra? i think "companion" ta bihe hagare pani banna milchha ni ....you can live together and settle down without marrying....
i mean marriage doen'st bring anything new new to the relationship that makes me think "ooho bihe chai garna nai parchha ".... tara khoi...

lifeinspires thats what i think. Marrige is nothing but a term its not like you cant live with or love someone without marrying them. I think its better not to marry than getting married. I know a lot of people who are not married but have been living together for a looooooooooong time soo i dont thing it matters if you marry someone or not. Its love that counts not some shit in some paper or not what your family says.
peace

True.

Although one way to think of it might be like this: There will come a certain age when there might not be too many other unmarried people in your age group who want to be your companions, no? They all have their husbands and wifes and children who they need to be committed to. At that stage, if you can find someone who is willing to be your companion for the long term, without getting married, I'd say you are lucky.

I agree there are many reasons not to get married .Certainly from a tax perspective it doesn't make sense to get married I guess - the so called "marriage penalty" he he. (I can see some people wince there and say all this guy thinks about is money ...LOL.)

But realistically, at some point it becomes a practical issue of finding reliable companionship and that is what often drives many people to marry.

haddock...he he ... the practical issue of finding reliable companion bhanya chai k ho? marriage makes an unreliable companion reliable ho??
from what i've heard....if u just live in togethr , it's more likely (after a fight/disagreement) that u'll walk away than i'f u're married re. once we marry it's more likely that we'll try n work things out instead of storming out in rage when we're angry re... i dont' think it makes much sense.

sorry....that was meant to be Captain haddock and not just "haddock".can't forget the captain part of it....*wink*

A couple of points :

- We are each suited to different things. There is no one answer that will work for everyone.

- In my case, I feel if you live together for long and don't get married, there is a good chance that could affect the relationship adversely, especially if one of the partners is interested in putting a definition around it. I am all for live-ins. But I fear it wont work for ever especially if s/he wants to get married.

- To answer your question , a reliable companion, as I see it, is someone who is obliged to and can give you their undivided attention when you need it. I have many friends but I don't think I can call them and pour my heart out to them. Sure when you are 17 you can do that but at some point your circle of friends becomes smaller and smaller. Who are you going to go to for emotional support then? And don't tell me you dont need emotional support - we all do - it just the degree that varies.

Let's see what other has to say to about "marriage":

Perfect marriage is based on a perfect misunderstanding.
- Oscar Wilde.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christhe.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years;
I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
- engagement ring
- wedding ring
- suffering.

Every man should get married some time;
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life!
- Anonymous.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It's not fair that some men should be happier than others.
- Oscar Wilde.

Bachelors know more about women than married men.
If they didn't, they'd be married too!
- H. L. Mencken.

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers,
That your wife will give you for free.
- Anonymous.

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why,
when a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife
You can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to
home always.
- Anonymous.

I asked my wife, ? Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, ? Somewhere I have never been!?
I asked her, " How about our kitchen??
-Anonymous.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- Anonymous.

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
- Anonymous.

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
- Anonymous.

She ran after the garbage truck, ? Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, " No, jump in ".
- Anonymous.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at
the front door, Who do you let in first? The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up if you
let him in.
- Anonymous.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candle light dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesday, I go Friday.
- Henry Youngman.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman
who will give you a little love, little affection, little tenderness?
It means you are in the wrong house.
-George Burns.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family.
in ANOTHER city.
- Anonymous.

:P :P

Captain Haddock wrote:

"a reliable companion, as I see it, is someone who is obliged to and can give you their undivided attention when you need it. I have many friends but I don't think I can call them and pour my heart out to them. Sure when you are 17 you can do that but at some point your circle of friends becomes smaller and smaller. Who are you going to go to for emotional support then? And don't tell me you dont need emotional support - we all do - it just the degree that varies."

Very true! I'm glad to see that some men feel this way about marriage and relationships. :-)

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
- S. T. Coleridge

LOL @ SimpleGal ! So men don't feel that way, ya? :) Its just the women who do, huh? Oh that enlightened gender! ha ha ha

Hope all's well with you this evening.

:)

LOL @ captain...hehe...true that, some women think that they only have emotions and that all men are emotionless creature who don't need any support. i wonder what could be their perceptions about dogs :P

LooTe

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The Question here should be Why Not to marry?

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Otherwise these pepper chillis will be out of job.
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Marriage is an insurance policy for men who have a hard time getting laid.
-TM

Good discussion is going on here about "WHY TO GET MARRIED?"
Ok here are my two cents in the topic.

Although living together is now acceptable, research have shown that 60 per cent of cohabiting couples still get married after a few years. We can live together and settle down without marriage but you can't find the security, satisfaction, commitment as you can find in a married relationship.

The first and the most important factor is that you are in LOVE. It is the most important element in the most successful relationships, tho it should not be the only reason for getting married. Then comes the feeling of reliable companiosship and commitment. At first you need to know each other's faults and failings and then you can decide if you want to be together forever. If you enjoyed a a secure and committed relationship for some time and and mentally prepared for bringing up children in a good environment, marriage is the most logical step. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of our culture as well. Another reason to get married is to start a family. As time flows, you will be left with less and lesser good friends as they vanish in their own world. If you have enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up children, marriage is the your best weapon you have in your shelf.
But you should not get married just because of the dear of being alone or to recover from previous unsuccessful marriages.

Feel like gettin married now, after all, sajha pundits are awesome:D

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