Inspired by few awesome pieces, & a sudden surge; a random thoughts in oblivion; I decided to form in words. I hope you guys like it; but am open to critisim, constructive if you'd please.

It may be the only piece or perhaps few mores will follow. I doubt it'll find it's way to the end. But then again, the most difficult & thus important thing is to start; where it ends is entirely another matter. Also it could be something different from my everyday obsequiousness/sycophancy; albeit with/for fun. So why not? Consider it as fiction or fact, it remains a reminiscence, a leaf out of my past. As it feels, my imaginary past.

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I was visiting that city after quite some time. I don't know why that place always felt like home away from home. Hundreds of miles away, without anyone to answer to, free to do, act and explore what we see/feel & be ourselves unlike incognito picture we often have to present of ourselves, for the fear of rejection, failure, or simply because we feel disguise is the wise thing to do.

I felt like I know those people, that city. That was not just any other place, but the one where I understood, or so I 'think' a lot about friendship, college, parties, drugs, people, and life & yes?love. Sad as it may be, it taught me, with time, like everything else, love dies. And I am so happy it does. It taught me, there is nothing more powerful in this world, except time; not even love. Oh! Well, where was I? Yeah that place....& those times.....................

Inspired by few awesome pieces, & a sudden surge; a random thoughts in oblivion; I decided to form in words. I hope you guys like it; but am open to critisim, constructive if you'd please.

It may be the only piece or perhaps few mores will follow. I doubt it'll find it's way to the end. But then again, the most difficult & thus important thing is to start; where it ends is entirely another matter. Also it could be something different from my everyday obsequiousness/sycophancy; albeit with/for fun. So why not? Consider it as fiction or fact, it remains a reminiscence, a leaf out of my past. As it feels, my imaginary past.

***********-----------------------------------------------------------************
I was visiting that city after quite some time. I don't know why that place always felt like home away from home. Hundreds of miles away, without anyone to answer to, free to do, act and explore what we see/feel & be ourselves unlike incognito picture we often have to present of ourselves, for the fear of rejection, failure, or simply because we feel disguise is the wise thing to do.

I felt like I know those people, that city. That was not just any other place, but the one where I understood, or so I 'think' a lot about friendship, college, parties, drugs, people, and life & yes....love. Sad as it may be, it taught me, with time, like everything else, love dies. And I am so happy it does. It taught me, there is nothing more powerful in this world, except time; not even love. Oh! Well, where was I ? Yeah that place....her & those times.....................

like it

Thanks tweets ;). Howdy?:p

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My heart raced fast. I could almost hear it pounding as soon as I put foot on that city. I was over it. I had moved on. But even then, I could not help but look at the faces there, searching/looking for a flicker of recognition perhaps for/from one familiar face among many. Or was I ?

I was supposed to be there for 15 days, meet few friends, get my work done
and out I was from that place; perhaps forever, even though I kept telling myself, I would come back, to visit, see, and catch up with my past for all the memories it has given me. Memories that haunted me at endless nights. Past that I longed for, for many days & nights; that I did not let go. It was so hard; then.

Keep writing Indi... will keep reading! :)

Nice Nice !!

Sitara, thanks for reading. I never tried it. Garo hune raicha. Deemag jata ghumaye utai jancha. And at the end you feel that you wanted to express/write one thing, and ended up with totally another.

Dhanyebaad mili ji.

Khai 'singh' na puchaar ko 'bhayo' jastai cha lekhai. Makai bhuteko jastai lekhdai gayera yeso padeko afulai nai amilo amilo lagyo. Tyaipani, paskeko chu sajha ma.

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I stayed with some students I knew over there. I knew them alright, but even then, they were not the kinds we would normally hang out with. They were nice people. Good people. No I/We was/were not bad person/s; we just did little bad stuffs. Well, who hasn't ? Their apartment was near to my ex-college, my ex-apartments & so many of my ex-memories. I knew that she visited that area frequently. She had some 'friends' in that area. It was weird. It has been a year and half since we last met. And I still felt something you know.... perhaps a 'Keema' of fear, excitement, desire, ange, and then nothing; an emptiness. It is hard to describe. Anyways, I needed to meet Vilas. I wondered if he still works there. I wanted to taste that juice; those magic potions. I bet Vilas would be glad to see me. After all we were his regulars from old times. Oh yeah, he worked @ the nearby pharmacy shop.

Just I was approaching that shop, my mind started to recollect our conversation after she caught me red handed, I believe not for the first time. 15- 20 pieces of blue, white, red had fallen from my pocket. I usually don't put anything on my shirt pocket & this is exactly why I don't. She was shocked and asked what those were. I vehemently denied in fear of more questions, and insisted it was my pain killers for my legs. It just came in different colors. Thank god she did not see those small bottles or maybe she did. She then said, "You know 'indi', some people takes it to get high." I retorted, "Do you mean I do that too?" She said, "I think you don't. You are in to sports and everything. But people do. And it is bad." A sigh of relief ran across my face. With a medical background in the family, she certainly knew much about medicines. Was she really that na?ve, or there was more to it ? Anyways, I reached to the shop. I could see Vilas inside.

I had a friend there. Subhas. Among all my Indian friends, perhaps he was the only one who was not 'into' some 'stuff'. He was good person, into bodybuilding. A shy guy. Often he took me to that place, a local hangout in front of a park, to see that one girl he liked. For months he used to just look at her. I urged him often to go and talk, but he never had guts to do so and therein laid the tragedy.

As it turns out, he had gotten married to someone chosen by his brothers. I was surprised; even being couple of years elder to me, it was way too early. Of course it shouldn't have been a problem, since they were from a well off family into construction & such. Despise or disagree as much as one wants, but it does play a major role in the society we live in.

He was also a fashion designer with his clothing line, a small one though. Even with everything taken 'care of', I was wondering how he's dealing with his every day life. To my surprise, he was doing quite well. And my 'bhabi' seemed like a very nice lady. After we came out of his fancy apartment, he asked me, " Kaisi hein ?" (How is she ?). I told him, "much better than 'that' gir.l" Well the fact is, we'd never know. But that made him happy I guess, and I sincerely felt she was the right girl for him. And the best part of meeting him was, I got his 2 stroke engine to ride, for as long as I was in the city, since he had graduated to a nice four wheeler.

hey indi nice work.. if u don't mind .. can i say something...bhandinchu la??? I dunnno if i was not much attention while reading or something.... but I couldn't figure out where u switched ur past and started narrating ur present...i mean sometime it was little random.. BUT i can see that ur story is kinda getting interesting..keep up the work... looking forward to read more...

Dreamz05, thanks for reading it.

And sorry for the confusion. Herana lekhda lekhda. ke huncha huncha. If it helps, these are all meant to be a 'past'. Few phrases are present, when I am expressing what it taught me & stuff. I tried to make it clear but apparently I need to be more explicit.

Please let me know the pros and cons. I kinda tend to loose it sometimes.

ALways a pleasure to read youyr postings:)

Hmmm nice.....but since when are memories X. *confused* :)

Good job indi broda, no comments. Ma chai ali confused bhako jasto laagyo. Khai kina ho. kahile kahil testo huncha re kya.

What ever, i enjoyed reading it.

Mero jaane bela bho, aba class ma gayera sutne ho.

The old traditional back bencher. Sleeping in the class.

Mero jaane bela bho, aba class ma gayera sutne ho. The old traditional back bencher. Sleeping in the class.
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Oh God Help me. ;)))))

Matrix jee, god will always help u, if u pray with innocent heart. Don't worry.

God bless u always.


(as u wish)

nice one bro though bit lil dazed and cunfused.keep writing bro loking forward to read more.
-nivaN

i had friend there.Subash...........a shy guy.....>>>>
LOL....>>>>subash a shy guy....haha god! thanks for good laugh.something striked my mind...didn't mean to laugh at ur writing.but i am just wondering are all guys named subash shy in nature?!!

anyway go on.......i am listening;)

Indi, what's with your experimenting with colorful pills? I am assuming here you've kicked your curiosities to kingdom com! ( Couldn't resist that. Forgive me, my friend! :)

Anyways, don't worry about the tense (we'll try to figure it out)... keep narrating. :)

Apparently my inexperience to soliloquize is creating some confusion here. Perhaps I never planned how it should work out, or the sequence I shall post. If it helps, It is a forced recollection; a forgotten past, I am trying to revive to take my first stab at fictional or otherwise creative writing. I tried to express my visit years ago to that place.

My recollection & thus my arrangement in the post must be sporadically out of track, and does not follow a planned systematic pattern. Intention was to write something with a specific beginning & PERHAPS an end, but everything else is random recollections, each on its own. However, I would be glad to clear any muzziness, if any of you'ld care.
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.............And the best part of meeting him was, I got his 2 stroke engine to ride, for as long as I was in the city, since he had graduated to a nice four wheeler.
..................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Armed to go wherever I pleased to, I wanted to visit some places just for the heck of it. I wanted to feel what I felt years ago. I wanted to just sit there for a while and remember those moments in silence, perhaps grieving and pay my respect, one final mourning to my past, our past. It was due, and I wanted to face the reality on its face; finally. Without running, hiding & ignoring, but being there at that very place and yet knowing, it is all right. Life is still beautiful & colorful. Past memories are good to remember once in a while and it's ok.

But past is good where it belongs; a nostalgia, a painfully beautiful memories at silent nights. And I still have 'miles to go' & someday 'happily ever after' will be mine. Well somewhere closer to it anyways. But isn't it wonderful to have memories of your yore days, reminisce, and smile ? Not wanting to change a bit. Feeling that dull ache in your chest on those 'white nights', peculiar, unlike those ordinary nights. Yes those special nights, where I remembered, laughed, smiled & felt the moistness in my eyes. It's been years since I last lived those 'white nights'. Try as I may, I fail to feel anything remotely agnate. As I realize now, even memories are long dead. They are not alive anymore. Only some torn pages, an erased phrases in my mind, which I try to arrange into verses in my beautiful poignant poetry of love. And I force myself to remember more.....

I went to my 'last' apartment where we had spent so many days. I had a top floor apartment on that building. As I entered the colony, I could see some cloths on the terrace & a small balcony which was right off the room. The big French window was open that lead to the balcony. I wanted to go in there, see if they had removed innumerable pictures on each side of the French window, a metal frame of unique abstract art I bought in the city, a beautiful frame with John Lenon's "Imagine" cliche, which still sounds so intriguing. I wondered if that big comfy chair was still in the terrace, where we had spent countless hours. I wanted to see those walls, feel the aura of the past just for a moment. My desperation grew with each passing moments, to see that place, feel those moments and remember.. in silence. I wanted to relive my past in my imagination. The more I thought about it, the more restless I became. After I parked under the building, I slowly took the steps up to my apartment.

The stairs seemed to know me. I could feel that I would see one of my friends coming downstairs and would tell me that 'she' is waiting for me in the apartment. I felt perhaps I should say hello to one of my ex- neighbors who lived on the third floor. And yeah that small boy, barely 3 perhaps. How he would come out of the apartment and talk with us, even though he hardly could express. But I had started to understand few of the signs; noises that he made. I sometimes used to give him some candies or wafers. His mother would always be quick to take him in. She sometimes exchanged few words. I felt sorry for the boy. It pained me to see that he was mentally challenged. Alas I decided against it. It had been long and I felt kind of awkward. Perhaps I should have said hello. As I write this I hope and pray for that boy. Maybe he doesn't have any metal handicap now. Maybe he can now play soccer with other neighboring kids without his mom watching over. And for once he doesn't have to fight himself to express what he wants. He smiled a lot.

Thanks Rythm. I hope not to disappoint you.
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Matrix babe memories became X since it ceased to knock in my mind.
"Try as I may, I fail to feel anything remotely agnate. As I realize now, even memories are long dead. They are not alive anymore. Only some torn pages, an erased phrases in my mind, which I try to arrange into verses in my beautiful poignant poetry of love. And I FORCE myself to remember more..... ". I hope it helps.
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Harke dai, I hope my analogies would be more symmetrical. And thanks.
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Thanks nivan, and as mentioned above, I'll try, but as of now, this is obviously best i could muster.
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Ruina tweets ;)
Wouldn't mind you laughing. Why would i? Wouldn't that be a sight to behold?:)
And also, perhaps the name of the character are vague. That said, take my word, not all subash or abhas are shy.
Goo your listening.:p
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Sitara, yep I have. Aba tyo bela tyastai thio. Kyarne. That was then. Ages passed & I have not even considered it. My curiosities to become a compounder has long been susidized by much better choice. That is to kick em to where it belongs. ;).

And also thanks for figuring it out. Should not be that hard. Or so I thought.
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Aiight Later.
IndisGuise:)